Baby Dumpling's Poppa

6 Month Old Baby Already

This week Baby Dumpling turned 6 months old.  She's only gained a few more pounds and a few more inches, I think she now weighs about 18 pounds and has grown to 28 inches.  It's been so long since I've written anything I thought 6 months is worth me taking some time and try to get back into writing.

I'll start with what I've been doing these past few months or making and excuse for not writing much.  Recently I started doing options trading, yep the stock market.  I feel I have to do something to earn extra money to offset the rising cost of EVERYTHING.  There's a lot involved in trading stocks or options so I had to spend a lot of time learning.  The good thing is most of the stuff is free online.  Then we bought a Hyundai Entourage minivan, not sure if I mentioned that before, but I am now officially a minivan owner.  My wife is the minivan driver, yep she's become one of those suburban moms driving a mini van with a baby, stroller and a baby bag in the back.  Spring softball season started, eventhough we've been snowed out twice and rained out once, we've managed to win the only 2 games we've played so far.  My wife is still working, someone has to make money to pay for the new minivan, but I still don't like it.

Baby Dumpling has been busy learning how to roll over.  She still isn't crawling yet but seems to prefer the standing as long as I'm holding her.  She discovered her feet not long ago.  She's realized that if she reaches for things she can actually grab it and throw it on the floor.  Lately she hasn't been wanting to eat much and we know that the teeth are almost ready to come in but she's not fussing like teething.  She's just not eating the amount that she should be.  We've noticed that she isn't drooling very much anymore either, so tonight I suggested that my wife try her on solid food.  The recommendation from the Pediatric Association, or something like that, CDC and WHO (World Health) recommend that you start solid foods around 8 months instead of 4-5 like most parents and doctors suggest.  Pediatric nutritionist also recommend this because it cuts down on the allergic reaction risk.  It was also pointed out that by 8 months babies have an easier time moving the food from the front of the mouth to the back so they can swallow it.  Usually if you start too soon the baby just spits it out.  One thing that was mentioned about starting solids at 8 months is that it's not only easier on the baby but much easier on the parents.  That's what caught my attention, someone actually took the time to mention the parents and pointed out that parents have just as hard of a time feeding the baby at first as the baby has eating or spitting it out.  So tonight was the night, Baby Dumpling got her first taste of solid food.  My wife said it was a little messy but the baby appeared to get half of it and liked it.  I know that I just went through all that stuff about waiting until 8 months, but we did it at 6 months.  Sounds kind of like I say one thing and do another.  I feel that although it's recommended, I think that every parent must make the ultimate decision as to the timing of starting solid foods.  What gave me the indication that Baby Dumpling was ready for solids is the fact that she's drooling very little now and I view that as the mouth muscles are working good enough to keep that stuff off her chin, clothes and most importantly me.

It's amazing how fast these last 6 months have gone by.  I guess that's part of getting old, did I mention that I had a birthday a few months ago?  Now this month we have our anniversary, my wife's birthday and my wife's first Mother's day.  I hope I don't forget any of these important dates especially the Mother's day.  I wonder what 6 month old babies give their mother on mother's day...Dirty diapers, spit up, sleepless nights, wet ears from the screaming and crying because they can't sleep or maybe they give the cute little smile or the look of recognition?  Perhaps for this one Baby Dumpling will need dear old dad to save the day.  I wonder what is a nice gift for a first time mom on her first Mother's Day.  It must be a very special day, one of those that ranks up there with wedding.

If you read this please help me with a few suggestions...I need to come up with 2 very special gifts.  One from Baby Dumpling and one from me. 

Letting Baby Cry During the Night

I have been reading and answering questions on Yahoo Answers for a few months and one repeated question is, "Do I let my baby cry during the night."  The answer is NO!!!!!!  I can't believe parents that consider themselves loving and caring would deprive their child food and water.  That is just something that really makes me want to shake the parents so hard they need to go to the ER.  How can someone say they love their baby and at the same time deny food and water daily or nightly?  What's next, put a lock on the refrigerator and turn off the water so they can't eat or drink when they get older?  Force the children to eat just 3 meals a day and that's it?  How many of these so called loving parents have literally held their baby while they cry for food or drink and not be able to provide it?  The problem is these parents can provide it, but because it's inconvenient they choose not too.  They would rather let their child starve and suffer just because their needs come before an infant that cannot do it themselves.  They treat their babies worse than their pets and it really pisses me off.  I really think that any parent that deprives their child of food and drink should be punished for child neglect. 

I will write more on this because it pisses me off so much.  I just can't believe child abuse is allowed to happen legally just so the parents are not inconvenienced.

Baby Dumpling is 4 Months Old

Yesterday Baby Dumpling became 4 months old and had the 4 month check up at the doctor, plus 4 shots and one oral immunization.  We'll get into the shots later in this post.  Her stats are pretty good, she is now just over 15 pounds and 25 inches.  The doctor said that puts her in the 85+ percentile, I have no idea what that means or why it's important but apparently it's important to someone somewhere.  What I know is that she is more than double her birth weight, we thought that would happen around 8 months, and she's out grown all the 4-6 along with most of the 6-9 month.  I know the size of baby clothes vary but when a baby averages over 2 pounds and 1.5 inches a month it's really hard to judge what will or will not fit.  When we buy the clothes we try it out right away and everything fits, then about 1 week later it starts to get a little tight and within a month it's too small...Maybe it would be better to buy baby clothes on a daily basis from Wal-mart, that way she can wear it for a couple of days or a week then we can return it saying it's too small and I need to exchange for the larger size.  They'll believe me because I'm a guy, and everyone knows that men don't do well when it comes to sizes or shopping for clothes. 

The doctor said everything is going really well with Baby Dumpling.  She's growing very well and her strength is really good as well.  The doc recommended we start giving Vitamin D to her because we live in the Pacific Northwest and there's almost no sunshine until the month of summer which is August.  So today I went to the vitamin store and asked for infant vitamin D.  Apparently there isn't much demand for this because they don't sell just the vitamin D, they sell the multi-vitamin.  I'm not sure the baby needs a multi-vitamin because she seems to be growing quite well without it.  I'm a little nervous to give her a multi-vitamin, that might cause her to have a growth spurt.

Then came the shots, 4 of them.  The first was o.k., Baby Dumpling didn't even flinch.  The second one got her screaming like we were using her for a pin cushion.  The other 2 didn't seem to have any effect because she continued to scream from the second.  The screaming lasted until we left the office.  My wife said that wasn't a "pain" scream... that was a very "mad" scream.  By the time we started driving Baby Dumpling was fast asleep.  I know that if you have a screaming baby/child you just put them in the car seat and drive around the block for about 10 minutes and they'll be out like a light.  The problem is gas prices are really high so that may not be an option anymore. 

When we arrived home and I took her in the house she was sleeping really good, but you are not suppose to leave a baby in the car seat so I took her out.  The "MAD" scream returned right away, I think whoever said don't let the child sleep in the car seat should have been exact.  Say something like don't let the child sleep in the car seat after arriving home unless they got shots at the doctor, then you can leave them for up to 5 hours.  That would allow the parents to rest and get things set up, like dinner, and it would allow the baby to forget that she was mad to start with.  Because that was not in the car seat handbook, I took her out and the mad scream came.  I hoped I could get her back to sleep if I put her in the crib, and tried some of the things that my wife uses to get Baby Dumpling to sleep.  None of that worked.  So after what seemed to be hours I thought I could sing the baby to sleep, but I only know 1 lullaby and my singing is so bad I can't even do it in the shower, but I decided to try.  I sort of know, "Too Ra Loo Ra Loo Ral" by Bing Crosby.  I really like Bing.  So I started singing it and right away Baby Dumpling became quiet, cry stopped, I felt encouragement by this so I kept singing.  Then she looked at me in the eyes and gave me a huge ear to ear smile that wasn't related to gas or any other bodily functions.  Again I was encouraged, so I continued.  Just after the big smile, the eyes started closing and then she was asleep.  I never sang to Baby Dumpling before, mainly because my singing is so bad I didn't want her to start screaming, but this time I had nothing to loose.  Any soon to be poppa's will learn what that feels like, and the ones that do know never forget.  I will never forget that on my baby's 4th month birthday I sang her to sleep.  It's truly an incredible feeling, better than holding her on my lap and reading to her when she falls asleep. 

Boys Love Mom and Girls Love Dad

A few days ago my wife started complaining that she does everything for Baby Dumpling, feeding, changing, rocking to sleep and try to get her to smile and laugh.  My wife wasn't complaining that I don't do anything, I don't know why because I think I don't do a whole lot, but she wasn't.  She was complaining about the fact that she does so much for Baby Dumpling and all I do is walk in the room do 1 little thing and Baby Dumpling gets this look like I'm her hero.  I haven't noticed any change, but my wife says there is.  I have been trying to explain that it just works out that way.  Girls tend to become daddy's little girl, it doesn't mean they don't love mommy less, they just love daddy more.  My wife doesn't think it's fair at all, but she recently was talking to a friend who was complaining about the very same thing.  I tried to explain that a father can teach his boy how to catch the football, run down the field to score the winning touchdown and when the camera's on him the first thing he says is, "Hi Mom!"  Mom didn't teach him how to catch, how to run, how to spin to avoid tackles but nevertheless he says hi mom.  Bill Cosby used this explanation to explain it.  He's much better at it than I am.

Today I noticed there is a little difference.  Baby Dumpling was fussing a lot.  I told my wife to let me hold Baby Dumpling so she can get a little break.  Almost right away Baby Dumpling stopped crying and fussing, I sat her on my knee facing me and said, "hi baby." That got an immediate big smile.  We sat for a while singing modified child safe Monty Python songs, smiling and laughing then we took a walk around the house.  Looked out the window to see if there was any wildlife outside then watched my wife doing what she was doing and everything was fine.  Baby Dumpling was not fussing, she was happy and enjoying herself.  I know my wife was happy that Baby Dumpling was not fussing, but at the same time she probably thinks it's so not fair that I can just put her on my knee sing, "I'm a lumberjack, Spam Spam Spam, Sit on my knee" and all is right in baby world.  I think it's pretty cool.

Parental Separation Anxiety

For some reason this week seemed to take a month to pass.  Starting on Monday when I was getting ready to leave for work.  I didn't want to go.  Baby Dumpling was looking really cute with her baby smile I wanted to stay home and hang out with her.  It's been that way every day this week.  Perhaps I'm starting to suffer from separation anxiety.  She had her first play day at the library yesterday and I didn't get to go.  My wife said Baby Dumpling was just observing everything and acting very nervous about the whole thing, while sucking the binkie really hard.  Then at the end she started to relax and do her baby talk really loud so everyone would know that she's there.  This weekend will be fairly busy just like last weekend so I won't get to spend as much time with her as I want.  For the past month or so when it appeared that Baby Dumpling was laughing she didn't have any sound come out, just showed it in her face.  This past week on 2 occasions my wife reported that Baby Dumpling made sound while laughing.  My Baby Dumpling is learning to laugh while I'm at work.  Baby Dumpling is also showing signs of really paying attention to things that are going on around her.  My wife is learning/practicing how to sign and Baby Dumpling is watching how the fingers move.  We are hoping that she picks it up at a young age, but the average is about 8 months.  We don't know if teaching her now will encourage her to start signing at a younger age, most people say that babies don't regardless if you start at 1 day old or 6 months old. 

More stuff that happened this week: 

Baby Dumpling is moving into stage 3 diapers and she's outgrown most of her 3-6 month old clothes.  So many things happen during the week with Baby Dumpling while I'm at work.  I'm glad my wife hasn't returned to work yet, at least 1 of us should be around to witness the beginning of her "firsts".  Soon I will need to take some vacation time so I can just hang out with Baby Dumpling, that might help ease some of this parental separation anxiety, and maybe I will get to see some firsts of my own.

A Baby's Smile

Over the past month Baby Dumpling has been smiling and making the face like she's trying to laugh but hasn't gotten the sound to come out yet.  It could be just my imagination but even when she's breast feeding and I walk in the room she'll stop, give me that look of recognition and smile.  I guess it's like that for all parents.  When your baby smiles at you it just makes your heart all mushy.  It's a good thing Baby Dumpling can't talk yet and ask for things, like a new sports car because I'd probably say, "sure, anything you want."  Sometimes I hear her making noise, not crying noise, more like talking and singing.  She really does give me the impression that she's talking and when we play the music from her toys it sounds like she's singing.  What makes me think that is because her facial expressions.  Like I said it could be just normal parent dreaming or wishing that these things are happening,  but I don't care what anyone says, I say she's doing it so she's doing it.  My wife and I hope soon she'll start to pick up the signing.  Right now we are only working on 4 words but that's enough for a 3 month old.  Our hope is by the time she's 5 months she'll be able so sign hi, milk, hungry and more.  After that we can teach her other things and hope that she enjoys the communication and our quick understanding of what she is saying.  Our hope is to give Baby Dumpling the ability to communicate with us and we can communicate with her long before words can be spoken so she won't get that feeling of frustration and we won't have that feeling of helplessness.  For now I'm happy to see my baby girl's smile, hear her talk baby talk and sing.  Just wish she would go to sleep and stay asleep when her parents are tired.  So far it's not too bad for me because my wife is quick to tend to her.  But I have put in my time when my wife just can't do it and that's usually when me and Baby Dumpling watch TV, which drives my wife crazy.  I don't really see what's wrong with watching Star Trek, John Wayne or James Stewart when we can't sleep.  Sometimes I read Dr. Seuss to her but that doesn't put her to sleep either and she's gets grumpy when she's tired and can't sleep, sort of like her dad.  So it's just a matter of waiting that hour or hour and a half until she falls asleep.

Expenses When New Baby Arrives

The comment left by a reader to my blog got me and my wife talking about some of the increases we encountered since the baby arrived.  Some we expected and some we knew but really didn't take into account until they arrived.  Here are a few of those increases and some ideas about how to offset those costs.

There are a lot of things that should be included when trying to estimate the cost of the additional family member.  I just got my first full water and electric bill after the baby arrived.  Due to the extra laundry, water consumption has gone up.  Because it's winter, the house must be kept warmer than I like so the cost for heating (electricity) has also gone up.  Both of these increases amount to about $40 per month, you should take these things into consideration when working on the monthly budget.  I also learned that there is a special laundry soap for baby stuff and it's not cheap.
You can offset the cost of some things by using discount coupons, sign up for as many free samples as you can.  My wife was able to get a few cans of formula for free.  We don't use formula usually so we'll most likely donate it.  Last week my wife was able to get a coupon for a case of diapers from someone who didn't need it at Cosco.  If possible ask friends and neighbors to give you the baby stuff coupons they don't need or use.  Make sure you make extra space for those things you get on sale.  If you know you're going to need it and you can get it on sale and use a coupon then take full advantage.  Word of warning when it comes to diapers, don't buy more than what your baby is going to use for the particular stage they're in.  Remember babies grow and the diaper that fits this week may not fit next week.  We've returned a few cases of diapers once we realized that Baby Dumpling was going to out grow them before we would use them and got the next size up.  You really never want to run out of diapers, because then you are stuck paying full price at the closest grocery store at 2 a.m.  Additional things you could do to offset the increases is, "GO Green."  I'm not talking about going with cloth diapers, even though it's said to be cheaper than disposables, but I'm not sure if the people who say that include the extra water, electricity and soap in their estimated cost.  What I'm talking about is using the energy efficient light bulbs, water saving things on your faucets and shower heads.  During the winter you can use those additional window insulation kits, hot water heater blankets and things like that.  I've been doing a lot of these things for over 10 years and I'm still looking for new ways to save.  There are a lot of ways to save money just by doing a few simple things and with gas prices staying above $3, a dozen eggs costing over $2, a case of diapers almost $30 same with 1 can of formula, you really need think about ways to offset these costs.

Baby Almost 3 Months Old

While holding Baby Dumpling I realized how much she's grown and how much has happened since she was born.  She weighed 6 pounds 15 ounces at birth and it was real easy to carry her around.  I could do a lot of things while holding the baby.  I was even getting pretty good at making a mess on the kitchen floor and cleaning it up while she was in my arm (at that time I only need 1 to hold her).  It's no longer possible to hold the baby and make a mess let a lone clean it up.  I remember when my wife complained that after feeding Baby Dumpling would still be hungry.  I just kept telling my wife the same thing everyone else said, "if the baby is gaining weight, going pee/poop then everything is fine."  Now I realize that my wife was correct.  She wasn't producing enough milk to keep up with the baby's growth.  At 2 months Baby Dumpling weighed in at 11 pounds 8 ounces, and grew from 18.5 inches at birth to 22 inches.  My wife is now producing enough milk.  When she used the breast pump and complained the baby wasn't getting enough to eat she was able to pump about 3 ounces for 2 breasts.  Now she pumps 3-4 ounces per breast and Baby Dumpling empties both at 1 feeding.  We did notice a lot of the clothes and diapers were getting too small and we still had some that were still in the packages.  We had a few cases of diapers that were also not opened.  So we decided to return the stuff that we could and get the next size up.  I checked web sites about baby weight gain and growth.  The one site I found that put things into easy to understand English, meaning the didn't constantly refer to the percentile.  It gave actual numbers that I can relate too.  At birth babies often loose weight, then about 3 weeks later the start exceed the birth weight.  The average baby gains about 5.5-8.5 ounces per week until they reach 4 months.  On the high end, that works out to about 2.125 pounds or 68 ounces per month.  That means on the high end Baby Dumpling should be roughly 10 pounds 15 ounces at 2 months, but in reality she's 11 pounds 8 ounces. So maybe my Baby Dumpling is overweight by about half a pound, that's o.k. she's just a baby.  But then I looked at the growth chart and it says that a baby will grow about 1 inch every month.  If Baby Dumpling grew 1 inch per month she would be 20.5 inches.  But she's 1.5 inches bigger than that.  The site says that this will slow once babies reach 4 months of age.  Maybe Baby Dumpling's growth will slow, but I have a feeling the bassinet that I planned for her to sleep in until she's a year old won't last that long and same for the car seat.

I am amazed that just a short time ago she was so tiny and now she's much bigger.  Parents are right when they say we need to enjoy each moment with the baby, because they grow so fast.  This is very true.  Baby Dumpling is now smiling, starting to make baby talk, and appears to be learning how to giggle.  She likes television although we don't encourage it.  One night my wife noticed the baby turning her head to look at the TV and every time my wife adjusted the baby so she couldn't look at it, the baby would turn or rotate her head so she can see it.  Last night while my wife was holding her and talking to me I noticed the baby watching TV.  I said to my wife the baby is watching TV again, so my wife put her hand between Baby Dumplings eyes and the TV but the baby moved her head first up, then down so she could see.  It might be time to move the TV out of the baby room before she learns how to work the remote, and try to get her more interested in the toys.

Discharged 24 Hours After Baby is Born

When Baby Dumpling was born she had to go right away to the NICU (Newborn Intensive Care Unit) because she was running a high fever.  At that time it was terrible, my wife felt it was some how her fault the baby was born with a fever.  She also missed being with the baby during the first hours, day of the baby's new life.  Although the hospital staff was really great, they told my wife the next day she could spend all her time there with the baby and when they needed to do their stuff they would call her back to her room.  Baby Dumpling spent almost 2 days in NICU then just over 1 day in the pediatric ward.  Although my wife was discharged the day before Baby Dumpling the hospital staff set up a bed so my wife could stay with the baby.  Before I knew that was the plan I asked the nurse if there would be a problem with my wife staying, or if we could just sleep in the waiting room.  The nurse told me that if my wife didn't want to stay with the baby that would be a problem.  The bed was already set up and the hospital did expect my wife and/or me, to stay in the baby's room.  The next morning the nurse ordered breakfast for my wife.  That was a great situation.  I think more hospitals should do that.  In my opinion it can reduce the stress and burden upon the nursing staff because the parents can do things like feed, change and rock the baby to sleep.  It seems like a win-win for both parents and hospitals.  The day Baby dumpling was discharged we attended a new baby class.  There was only 1 other mother there and she just had her baby at 11:30 the night before.  This new mother was so confused about many things, quite similar to my wife and me the day after our baby was born.  She was wondering why she wasn't producing anything for the baby to eat, I know milk doesn't come for a few days after the baby is born but there is something (I don't know the name) and this new mom wasn't producing any of it.  She was worried about this, just like we were when it first happened.  The new mom didn't know exactly how to swaddle the baby, wasn't experienced at changing diapers.  She said her husband was sleeping because both of them were up all night with the crying baby.  She apparently got a lot of stitches and needed to sit on a pillow.  There were so many questions this new mom of 9 hours had and not much time to get the answers.  She was scheduled to be discharged along with her new baby early that afternoon.  Where I live after a normal birth, both mother and child are discharged 24 hours after birth.  My wife and I were lucky because our insurance said 48 hours, and although Federal Law says 48 hours this state says only 24 is needed.  24 hours should mean 24 hours, but the way it's counted is something like this:  If the baby is born on Saturday at 11:30 p.m. that counts as Saturday and both mother and baby can be discharged on Sunday, and the hospitals usually discharge early in the afternoon.  That's considered 24 hours or the next day.  For a long time after we got Baby Dumpling home, my wife couldn't understand why the new mom was being sent home with her new baby so soon after the birth.  To her, and to me, it just doesn't make sense. If the new mom wants to go home that soon then it's o.k.  But this new mom really didn't.  She was scared because she didn't know how to do many things that are needed for the proper care of a new born baby.  She didn't have any known complications so she was scheduled for discharge.  Sometimes I think of Baby Dumplings fever as being a blessing in disguise.  We got an extra day and that has really helped us a lot.  How can a woman be expected to have a baby then immediately start caring for the baby without any time to rest and recuperate?  Maybe the law should be changed from 24 to 48-72 hours, or if days are being counted then call it 2-3 days.  24 hours for recovery, 24-48 hours for additional training on the care of a new born.  This would cut down on a lot of problems and a lot of extra expense the insurance companies have.  I feel that because my wife and I had the extra time to ask questions, then have an expert teach us one on one with our real live baby, we were much more prepared to be new parents when we got home.

Obsessions of New Parents

In the past I read about new moms obsessing over certain things such as the baby isn't breathing, not getting enough to eat, diapers are dirty and those types of things.  I thought it was just the moms who had these crazy thoughts but recently I found myself having them as well.  They aren't the same as my wife's but none the less I have this mental condition which I call, "New Parent Insanity."  Before I realized I was infected by this I talked with a friend of mine and she told me when her first baby was born she would constantly be checking to see if the baby was breathing by putting her finger under the baby's nose.  I have seen this with other new moms.  Some moms are afraid to leave the baby even to use the bathroom or take a shower unless someone is there to watch the baby.  I considered this to be exclusively to new moms.  A few days ago I was in charge of the baby, the monitor was on my side of the bed which means I'm watching the baby via security camera type baby monitor and listening in case she starts to cry.  That was a terrible night for sleeping.  Although Baby Dumpling didn't cry or fuss during my watch I still kept waking up every 15-30 minutes and looked at her through the monitor.  Everything appeared normal, I could see her face clearly, nothing was near her head everything was fine.  I was, however, disturbed by the lack of movement.  She wasn't moving her arms which probably meant she was sleeping, but that wasn't what was going through my mind.  I thought she (you guessed it) wasn't breathing.  I am glad that my logical side kept me from getting up and going to check on her, but my emotional side was really putting up a battle.  I found myself just staring at the screen, waiting for some movement or sound.  I couldn't go back to sleep or even put my head on the pillow, I was glued to the screen.  When she finally made a sound or moved her arms I quickly fell back to sleep.  This, New Parent Insanity, was repeated several times during my watch, I thought the night would never end.  I felt like I was in some strange horror movie or worse, I was in the Twilight Zone and at any moment I would see a shadow bending over the baby.  So now I have come to fully understand the New Parent Insanity isn't just for new moms, it's also for us new dads.

I wonder what New Parenting Insanity things other new dads have, or even new moms.  It would be nice to know that my wife and I are just normal and not trapped in the Twilight Zone.