It has been just over 2 and a half years since Baby Dumpling was born and I still can't believe I'm a Poppa. Sometimes it just amazes me that this little person started out so tiny has become a force to be reckoned with. There seems to be a lot of negotiating when it comes to dealing with someone, who's just under 3. You need to negotiate everything from eating to watching movies, there is even negotiating for going to the potty.
Some might say, "you just tell the child what to do and they'll do it." I use to think like that until I was confronted with that face, you know the one, quivering lower lip, giant sad eyes filling up with tears... I have found it almost impossible to say no while looking at a face like that. Children sure do know how to get you feeling like an evil monster when they want something and you say no. They don't even need to make a sound, and you just cave in. I'm hoping that I will grow stronger and be able to resist the "face" before I'm confronted with the makeup, clothes that are too small, going to the mall with her friends and let's not forget the latest, coolest, fastest sports car on the market.
Like a lot of fathers of daughters, I have a feeling I will not be able to withstand that face, so I've been developing a plan. I'm starting to learn that I can defer a lot of the requests to my wife; and Baby Dumpling has also been learning that she can slightly change my wife's response when she reports back to me. An example of Baby Dumpling's learning is when it comes to asking for candy. I tell her to ask her mom, I've learned not to give candy without checking first, and Baby Dumpling will report back that mom said yes. When I ask how many, she replies 2 or 3, that's when I have to verify with my wife. Usually it turns out that my wife didn't specify how many pieces, just that Baby Dumpling can have candy. That's when the negotiation over how many pieces starts and it gets referred back to my wife.
I find myself negotiating just about everything. This morning Baby Dumpling made the request for ice-cream for breakfast, my natural response was, "what did mommy say?" Her response was, "mommy is sleeping." Luckily my wife woke and was able to take over the negotiating before I caved in, I would not have given her just ice cream, I would have put ice cream on waffle with strawberries, blueberries or chocolate syrup.
I think part of any class that teaches negotiating skills should include a section on negotiating with a 2-3 year old. I think it's included in some parenting classes, but I must have been absent the day they covered how a father negotiates and wins over his 2 and a half year old daughter. Perhaps, there could be a class called, "there's a way to not cave in when you look into the quivering lip, big sad eyes filling with tears, and not feel like an evil monster."
